Feeding Zeke

My good friend Janet, in an email discussion we had about breastfeeding, said that she went through so much to establish a good breastfeeding relationship with her daughter that she really questioned God's design for something that is supposed to be so natural.  My other friend Cindy has pointed out that there wouldn't be so many groups dedicated to breastfeeding if it didn't come with challenges.  La Leche League wrote a book called "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding", implying that breastfeeding is a technique or a skill to be aquired.
I never thought I would do anything but breastfeed my baby.  I come from a long line of women who breastfed their babies.  When it came to be my turn, I enthusiastically stepped up as next in line.  There was no way I could have anticipated the amount of tears shed, the number of fights with my husband, the amount of exhaustion...the number of trips to specialists, or the amount of equipment this "natural act" would require to pull off.
To be fair, my difficulty breastfeeding is not all nature's fault.   It's very possible that a necessary surgical procedure that I had when I was 15 years old is complicating the already hard (for some women) feat of BF.  But, prior to having Zeke, I placed myself in the category of "everything will be fine".  In fact, it never occured to me that anything would go wrong in that area.  I always thought that once I got through the pregnancy and the labor, the hard part would be over - all lights would be green and go!
Zeke was born 9 lbs even (why?  I don't know!  I didn't overeat or have any out of the ordinary dietary habits during pregnancy and I gained a reasonable amount of weight - Matt and I were both 7 lb babies, so I am still not sure what to chalk that up to!) and so from birth, his weight gain was steady for the first three weeks.  He went to 9 lb 4 oz very quickly, and with the pediatricians blessing we went home thinking we were clear.  What happened next was a living nightmare.  Our precious sleeping baby turned into a crying hellian.  And he stayed that way through the 8th week.  Why was he crying?  Because he was hungry.


Skinny Zeke, at about 6 weeks old, still cute though...

During the eight to ten weeks he was hungry, we were troubleshooting like crazy to fix the issue - and in the first few weeks before he was weighed in at the pediatricians at his 6 week check up, we didn't realize his colic was because he was hungry. Once we saw his weight gain had stalled, we went through every possible recommendation and remedy with our team of experts:  My supply was fine but my milk fat was too low, My fat was fine, but my supply was too low, he was growing too fast, his suck was too weak, his motor skills were bad, he had a traumatic birth, I needed to feed on demand, I needed to feed on a schedule, I needed to see a lactation consultant, I needed to wear him skin to skin, I needed to take a bath with him, drink beer, take herbs, drink tea, supplement with formula, feed with a bottle, not feed with a bottle, feed and pump every two hours, spend a weekend with him in bed just nursing....on and on and on and on....
As you can imagine, it was basically a horrendous, exhausting, process with every person giving me their two cents about what I needed to do to fix it.  All the while, Zeke's weight gain stalled out at 9 lbs 4 oz for a little over 4 weeks, and I watched my healthy, fat, baby turn into a lean little elf like creature, as he continued to grow super long in length and head circumference, but not fat.  My head said I was doing everything I could, but in my heart, every time he cried, I felt like a terrible mother!  It didn't take long before I broke down and brought infant formula home.  (I say broke down because I believe that mom's milk is the best for baby, and I am in my heart suspect of the nutritional value of anything I can buy in a store, in a can, in mass quantity.)  I put the powdered formula together, put it in the bottle, put it to his mouth, and then...I couldn't put it in his mouth.  I just couldn't do it.
Now, I realize that lots of babies are fed formula everyday and grow into healthy, strong, capable adults.  My husband is one of them.  He's a wonderful, smart, healthy, happy human being who was well loved by his family growing up, and was fed formula.  But maybe for me this was an issue of, "If you know better, do better".  And because of my training in nutrition, I couldn't help but feel there must be something else I could do to remedy the situation besides go straight to a commercial formula supplement.
My answer came with some further research on the internet.  I stumbled upon a recipe for a raw goat/cow milk formula from the Weston A. Price foundation.  As soon as I saw it, I knew I could be okay with doing this for Zeke.  And so, to keep this long story not too long, that is what we have been doing - Breastfeeding, and supplementing with this heaven sent goat milk formula from the Price Foundation.  And Zeke has grown big, and strong, and healthy, and baby-fat, with none of the digestive, gassy, or immune system issues that sometimes come from using commerical formula.
I am happy to purchase the raw milk ingredients from a farm in North Florda.  These ingredients are brought to Central FL twice a month by Steve Moreau at www.farmfreshdirect2u.com .  I purchased the infant formula kit ingredients from www.nourishingtraditions.com  And every four or five days, I handmake Zeke's infant formula from scratch using fresh raw milk, cream, and a variety of nutritional supplements that make the milk as close to mother's milk as it can be.

Fat, Happy, Sleeping Zeke

 Looking back, I'm still not sure that our issue with breastfeeding was due to any one thing in particular.  Since I both pump and nurse, and seem to be producing a good amount of milk for him, I suspect it was more a combination of "all of the above", with a lot of exhaustion and stress added in.  Like a lot of mothers, I had hoped for, and maybe even taken for granted a smooth breastfeeding experience.  Since I wasn't able to have that, it feels very good knowing that I'm doing the best I can for him now.   And I am actually very grateful - even though I have chosen to relax on the idea of exclusively breastfeeding, and now feed him a supplement with a bottle - he still really enjoys nursing, I enjoy nursing him.  So, thankfully, we haven't completely missed on that important part of our journey together. 

Infant Formula Ingredients



Blending it all together

Final product, this will last us a few days!